She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
