So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
