next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
