dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
