hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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