somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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