Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
