Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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