More tranny stories later!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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