I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
