I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
