so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
