words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
