Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
