just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
