just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
