in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
