Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Girls should come with a carfax report
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
