We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
