so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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