just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
