i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
