she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
