i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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