If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
