oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
