Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
