the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
