He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
