Duck Duck Cougar?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
