Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
