Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
