Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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