small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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