I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
