Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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