I'll bet she douches with gravy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
