i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
