Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
