that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just found puke in my bra..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Randomize
