dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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