i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
