Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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