So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize