she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
