last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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