nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can text with my tongue
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
