I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
