I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
