its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
