my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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